Smack Therapy http://smacktherapy.com THE TRUTH HURTS - BUT IT'S STILL TRUE Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:01:35 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.1 en - How do I not hurt his feelings? http://smacktherapy.com/1066/how-do-i-not-hurt-his-feelings/ http://smacktherapy.com/1066/how-do-i-not-hurt-his-feelings/#comments Wed, 17 Mar 2010 01:01:35 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1066 The full question: ‘There is this guy that keeps texting me and calling me. What do I say to him to keep him from contacting me without hurting his feelings, I want to still be friends with him.’

The answer:

Impossible. So, you have a choice:

Do what he wants and hate yourself.

Do what you want and he hates you.

Easy.

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1066/how-do-i-not-hurt-his-feelings/feed/ - What is she talking about? http://smacktherapy.com/1055/im-not-sure-what-the-question-is/ http://smacktherapy.com/1055/im-not-sure-what-the-question-is/#comments Tue, 16 Mar 2010 01:01:21 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1055 The full question (from a girl): ‘Isn’t the underlying issue at hand in any of these questions and concerns the root of communication? Why are females and males so different in their approach? Typically there is more information presented on the female way of thinking, why is that? The male view to communication, is only now being looked at. I think the truth is really in how effective the communication is. Would you agree?’

The answer:

Huh?

I only got half way through this before I fell asleep…

Could you perhaps send a shorter question, or even one that makes sense?

I see 4 question marks in your essay, which means you asked 4 questions… now that’s greedy.

Smack!

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1055/im-not-sure-what-the-question-is/feed/ - My boyfriend lied. What should I do? http://smacktherapy.com/1009/my-boyfriend-lied-what-should-i-do/ http://smacktherapy.com/1009/my-boyfriend-lied-what-should-i-do/#comments Mon, 15 Mar 2010 01:01:02 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1009 The full question: ‘My boyfriend went to a party and lied about smoking and drinking on Valentine’s Day. What should I do?’

The answer:

I think the first thing you should do is call the Police and report his appalling misbehavior - it could be a misdemeanor, it might even be a felony.

After that you should stomp your feet, throw a temper tantrum, scream at the top of your voice and then mutilate yourself for even allowing him out of your sight on such an auspicious day.

Once you have reprimanded yourself for allowing him to be human with free will, and for behaving in the manner to which he is not accustomed or permitted, you should leash him to one of the bars in the cage you have for him in the basement.

Do you really have a boyfriend, or are you lying?

I got it - he’s deaf, dumb and blind with no sense of taste, smell or touch.

That’s the only person who would ever date you, right?

Bingo!

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1009/my-boyfriend-lied-what-should-i-do/feed/ - This girl I like has a cat I hate. Help. http://smacktherapy.com/1044/this-girl-i-like-has-a-cat-and-i-hate-it-help/ http://smacktherapy.com/1044/this-girl-i-like-has-a-cat-and-i-hate-it-help/#comments Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:01:19 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1044 The full question: “I have been dating this girl for a while and when we first started dating we always stayed at my place, but now her cat is ill and we have to go to hers whenever we stay the night together. I hate her cat, it smells and its hair gets everywhere, plus it makes me cough. What should I do?’

The answer:

Kill it.

It’s going to die someday, so put it out of your misery.

(My legal representation have told me to say that I am joking, which is kind of true… not)

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1044/this-girl-i-like-has-a-cat-and-i-hate-it-help/feed/ - Should I have sex at 12 years old? http://smacktherapy.com/1040/should-i-have-sex-at-12-years-old/ http://smacktherapy.com/1040/should-i-have-sex-at-12-years-old/#comments Sat, 13 Mar 2010 01:01:10 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1040 The full question: ‘Me and my boyfriend are 12 years old and we have been together for the last year and we are really in love. He wants to have sex and so do I. Am I too young?’

The answer:

Why didn’t this happen to me when I was 12?

Because it happened when I was 11.

And she was 16.

Now that explains alot doesn’t it.

Haha!

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1040/should-i-have-sex-at-12-years-old/feed/ - I am really into Asian chicks, but my parents don’t like it. Help. http://smacktherapy.com/1035/i-am-really-into-asian-chicks-but-my-parents-dont-like-it-help/ http://smacktherapy.com/1035/i-am-really-into-asian-chicks-but-my-parents-dont-like-it-help/#comments Fri, 12 Mar 2010 01:01:11 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1035 The full question: ‘I have a great connection with Asian girls and I always seem to end up dating them, but I am Jewish and my parents want me to be with a Jewish girl. What should I say to them and what should I do?’

The answer:

When your parents start paying for your sexual favors then they can tell you who to date.

Until then, tell them that the Asian girls are Jewish, they just don’t look it.

And in the meantime stop introducing them to your parents, you tit.

“If you don’t stand in the line of fire, you can’t get shot” - quote from ‘Marriage & How To Avoid It’ by Guy Blews.

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1035/i-am-really-into-asian-chicks-but-my-parents-dont-like-it-help/feed/ - Should I make up with her? http://smacktherapy.com/1033/should-i-make-up-with-her/ http://smacktherapy.com/1033/should-i-make-up-with-her/#comments Thu, 11 Mar 2010 01:01:04 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1033 The full question: ‘My girlfriend left me for another guy and now she wants to come back to me. I still love her, but I am really hurt. What should I do?’

The answer:

You flippin’ pussy…

Keep well away from her.

Or I’ll electrocute your crown jewels because you don’t deserve them.

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1033/should-i-make-up-with-her/feed/ - Why is rap so popular when it’s so aggressive? http://smacktherapy.com/1030/why-is-rap-so-popular-when-its-so-aggressive/ http://smacktherapy.com/1030/why-is-rap-so-popular-when-its-so-aggressive/#comments Wed, 10 Mar 2010 01:01:28 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1030 The full question: ‘My boyfriend is into hard rap and I find it so offensive. Why is he so determined to listen to it when I think it is so aggressive? And why is it so popular?’

The answer:

Because it grabs your attention…

It causes you to have an opinion…

It makes you react…

It upsets you…

It makes you laugh…

It generates its own publicity…

& once in a while it’s geniass…

Chill the fuck out and you might see that they’re only words that rhyme (sometimes).

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1030/why-is-rap-so-popular-when-its-so-aggressive/feed/ - Should I quit smoking? http://smacktherapy.com/1026/should-i-quit-smoking/ http://smacktherapy.com/1026/should-i-quit-smoking/#comments Tue, 09 Mar 2010 01:01:11 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1026 The full question: ‘I smoke 20 cigarettes a day, at least, and my Doctor said I should quit if I want to be healthy again. What do you think, Dr. Smack? You are, after all, the true Doctor.’

The answer:

Why would you want to be healthy?

The quicker you die the better.

You tit.

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

]]> http://smacktherapy.com/1026/should-i-quit-smoking/feed/ - Should I sleep with my boss? http://smacktherapy.com/1024/should-i-sleep-with-my-boss/ http://smacktherapy.com/1024/should-i-sleep-with-my-boss/#comments Mon, 08 Mar 2010 01:01:31 +0000 Guy Blews http://smacktherapy.com/?p=1024 The full question: ‘My boss has asked me out on a dinner date and I have said yes because I am too afraid to say no. I kind of like him, but I think he is taking advantage and I don’t really like it. I am hot (even if I do say so myself) and this has happened before, but I like my job and I am afraid to lose it. What do I do?’

The answer:

Go on the date.

That’s enough ammunition for a sexual harassment case.

And f*ck him if you want… or don’t if you don’t…

Either way you have him by the balls.

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

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