- Does long distance love work?

It works the same as any other love.
It’s not easy.
It’s not permanent.
& it is painful.
Ha!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- What do you think about gay marriage?

Same as I think about straight marriage.
Pointless. But not harmless.
“If there was any love, trust or belief in marriage, there would be no need for marriage in the first place” - Marriage & How To Avoid It by Guy Blews
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- This girl won’t leave me alone. What do I say to her?

Nothing.
Ignore her.
It works. Guaranteed. But you have to stick to the plan.
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- My friend is always late. What do I do?

The full question: ‘My friend is always late. Even when he tells me he is on his way, I know he isn’t and I always end up waiting for half an hour or longer. I have mentioned it, but it makes no difference. What do I do?’
The answer:
Give a final warning…
After 15 minutes, get up [...]

- Why do fat people smell?

Because they can’t quite reach between the rolls of blubber to clean out the filth that has collected there.
Because they eat shit food and then smell like what they eat.
Because they want you to notice them - that’s why they are fat…
Any fat person who tells you they like being fat is either a liar, [...]

- What should I do about my in-laws? They annoy me.

Avoid them.
And the best way to do that is get a divorce, because your wife will turn into her mother…
Need I say more?
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- Why are people bulimic?

Because they are wasteful.
Anorexia is a far more environmentally friendly option.
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- My friend told me she doesn’t like me. Help.

The full question: ‘My friend has passed the limits once again. She told me the only reason she is friends with me is because she feels bad about the way other people talk about me, and that I have no friends. I am very forgiving & I miss her so much. Do I forgive her, [...]

- My friends are splitting apart. What can I do?

The full question: ‘My group of friends is splitting apart because three of them don’t get along. We all used to be so close. What can I do?’
The answer:
Life is all about change, whether we like it or not.
So, get used to it.
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- Are we all just useless blobs?

Yes.
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com