- Who should I try to be with?

In your case I would suggest someone with extremely low standards…
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- How do I know if she loves me?

She doesn’t. Guaranteed.
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- Where is heaven?

In your girlfriend’s pants…
Or someone else’s girlfriend’s pants.
Take your pick.
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- I’m in love and I hate it.

Then you’re doing just fine…
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- Is there a difference between girls and women in bed?

Yes.
Girls do whatever you want.
Women do it right…
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- Are girls unfaithful too?

Does a giraffe have a neck?
Of course they are…
And they’re better at it.
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- My Ex-Wife and I…

The full question: ‘Dude, My ex wife of 11 years hates me sooo bad! I left her because she had an ongoing affair with her boss. I found my new wife (8yrs younger and 10 times as hot). My ex is getting married today (!) but I still have to go to court every year [...]

- I met this hot chick…

The full question: ‘Dr. Smack, I met this hot hot chick and she wants to stay with me for a few days; she seems cool but how do I tell if this is a disaster waiting to happen?’
The answer:
It doesn’t matter.
Live a little.
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- Is it bad to see two people at the same time?

The full question: ‘I am seeing this girl but she travels alot and so I started seeing another girl who is around much more. I like them both. Is it bad of me to do this when they don’t know?’
The answer:
No, it’s not bad - it’s f*cking stupid.
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

- My best friend’s ex and me…

The full question: ‘My best friend’s ex boyfriend kissed me and I think I’m starting to like him. I told my friend and she is really mad and won’t talk to me. What should I do?’
The answer:
Kiss her…
She might start to like you again.
Smack!
Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com