Let us first clarify that it is household cats we are discussing here.

And second, allow me to say that ‘hate’ is too tame a word for the way I feel.

They are slinky and conniving; they have sharp claws and nasty little teeth; they stare and observe with their spooky looking eyes; they use cat litters but always manage to miss a bit which is unhygienic and unpleasant to see; they regard the mice that they kill as ‘gifts’ which they then play with in some morbid necrophilia kind of way; they ’spray’ on people’s clothes and beds for no good reason (I call it piss, cat lovers call it ’spray’); and, to top it all, if there is one person in a room of twenty people who dislikes cats then you can guarantee that the cat will choose that person as their target… it is in their sniveling, slinky, sick and decrepit nature to slither and lurk and connive and slide and linger and meow and purr and creep and sleep and generally irritate the living light bulb out of me.

That’s why I loathe, despise and abhor those nasty, deceitful creatures.

Guy Blews (aka. Dr. Smack) - www.SmackTherapy.com

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